A good buddy of mine just bought a Prius. During his proud maiden voyage to work in his new car he took a snapshot of the gas meter showing a whopping 65 miles to the gallon of gas. This was the equivalent of a teenage boy finding his dad’s stash of vintage Playboys to guys like us.
For a second, I thought to myself, “I think I should get a new car. I’m making a few bucks now, so why not.” Then I went outside and walked around my 2006 Scion XA. I took careful note of each and every ding and even the little scratch on the rear bumper where some asshole let a cart hit it in the Walmart parking lot. God, I hate Walmart.
Then I opened up the car door and got inside. The new car smell was long gone; it actually smelled like gym socks. The driver side seat also looked a little worn… but who was I kidding, my Scion is still a baby. She has at least 200,000 more miles in her.
So why all the longing for a new car? I think its because my buddy has one and a little part of me kinda sorta wanted a new car too just cause he had one. It seems ridiculous when I say it out loud to myself.
Only Slaves try to Keep Up with the Joneses
In the never ending struggle to keep up with the Joneses you become a slave- a slave to your possessions, to the opinions of others and to your job. Every time you forgo saving or investing in favor of buying thing you don’t really need, or spending money in an unwise fashion, you give up more time, as in more time that could be spent in an early retirement or even time spent now traveling and seeing the world or with family. And time is the one thing in the world that you can’t buy more of.
I’m proud to say that I have largely avoided trying to keep up with the Joneses. My wife and I live in a modest home, drive cars that were practically paid for with cash and carry little debt. All my friends seem to have nicer things than us, but few of them enjoy the level of freedom and security we do.
I even passed up going to a fancier grad school in favor of a smaller, less expensive university (Kennesaw State University over GA State) despite having many people urge me to go to the school with the big name. I decided to save $15 to $20k and go to KSU. Do I regret it after the fact? NO! I walked away with hardly any debt and still landed a job making substantially more than I did before I got the degree. While one of the Joneses would obsess over the name on their diploma, I broke it down on more of a practical and economic level. Not that I’m discounting the value of a degree from a big name university, but at the end of the day, it boils down to you, not where you went to school.
Keeping up with the Joneses is for Bitches
Now that I’ve talked over the whole keeping up with the Joneses phenomena with myself, I’ve realized that if I’d bought a car just out of some sort of envy or petty fake competition, that would make me somewhat of a…. what’s the word I’m looking for… BITCH!
Who are we kidding? Do adults really buy stuff just to look good for their neighbors or show off? Do people really care about what other people think of the brands thy are wearing or the logo on their shoes? Actually yes, they do more so than not. I even find myself caring on a certain level, as much as I try to punch down the petty instinct to care.
If you’re one of these people, today is the day to step back and quit being a slave and a little bitch. Yes, today you can kill two birds with one stone! You can free yourself from the shackles of the Joneses and you can graduate from your pull ups to the big boy (or girl) underwear and quit being a little pee in your pants bitch.
Free yourself slave!
The fact that you write a blog about this shows that you have a severe complex with what your friends have. If you take the time to write this about me, I wonder how you feel about people that really do have nice things. You call out your “friends” and family behind a keyboard because you are angry and/or envious of them.
So I say to you: Stop being a ‘Bitch!’ Stop focusing on others, and focus on YOUR road ahead. You are doing great, and people respect that. When you call others out to make yourself feel better, and blog about how you are not going to “keep up with the Joneses”, it only tarnishes your own image, and proves that you really are envious.
I admit. I spend many hours of each night obsessing over the possessions of my friends- especially yours my dear Jawsh. I want your life so bad I can’t stand it.
In fact, I don’t only want your life, I lust it, I crave it, I dream about it. God, I can’t stand it! I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE!
I wish I could just be you man, I really want to be you! Or at least inside of you! Oh God!
#littlepeniswin
Don’t blog about me. Even if it is only to 3 readers, it is still very gay.
Sounds to me like you’re the one that’s gay buddy. Grow a pair and get over it.
Its possible you misconstrued his motivation for writing this. Seems like he just wanted to share his internal struggle with determining the line between keeping up with the Joneses and improving his primary form of transportation. However, I can see how being the proverbial Joneses in this post could spark such a response. Either way, I think Jawsh should have gotten the Lexus hybrid and Shane should upgrade before the door handles fall off the Scion (I’m the proud owner of a Kia so I don’t feel like too much of a dick in my suggestion, and I’m lying about the proud part earlier in the sentence!!). With that said, if both of your wives were to leave you, you guys could take your tiny cars to any of the gay marriage friendly states and live happily ever after!!!!
Amen Phil. I do drive my little car with pride though, even through gay communities… Nay, and especially through gay communities!
homophobic blog about a moron who things GA is a big named school and saves money by eating from the dustbin.
You my friends are a classic down south hilly billy.
HAHAHA! Thanks for the comment. That one made me LOL. Brutal honesty hurts.
But wait, which part is homophobic????
The only Jones is an old lady who never learned how to drive a car because she’s from horse and buggy times.
**meant to include the words “I know”
Don’t judge me.
The strangeness of where the comments went after this post is sad. Saying that writing about keeping up with the Joneses means you have a complex over what your friends have is flawed logic. Nor was there any suggestion made that his friend has made the wrong choice in buying the Prius the only observation was he (shane) should be happy with what he has because it is bought paid for and meets his needs so buying a new car that gets a bit better MPG and is nicer/newer just to have a car that compared to his friends prius would be a bad financial decision for him.
I think it is great advice to question your motivation for wanting to buy something. Is it something you truly need or actually want. Or are you buying it as a status symbol of your wealth/status/ supposed eco friendliness or some other superficial reason.
I love you Jared….
I guess I stumbled into the man cave of comments. I got your post…even though I just bought a new car. It wasn’t for the Joneses. It was because of a texting driver, but I too wanted a hot little gas sipper. Alas, I settled for something that we actually fit in since my BF is pretty tall.
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